The traffic jams in Jakarta that Friday December 19, 1997, were beyond the norm.
When the traffic caused the G family to miss their flight to Singapore, they were understandably very upset.
It is frustrating and disrupting to have well made plans fall apart for no good reason.
But in their case, they discovered that there was a good reason for them to miss their flight.
The Silk Air flight they were meant to be on crashed, leaving no remaining survivors.
Ironically, they were now thanking G-d for the same traffic jam that they had previously been bemoaning.
When they came to see me a few days later to ask for guidance, they were still shaken to the core.
The question that gnawed at their soul: ‘Why had they been spared, when more than a hundred others who were on the flight, lost their lives’.
When they came to meet me, they expressed their desire to thank Hashem for this miracle by giving extra tzedakah. In my files I found the following letter that I wrote to follow up on our meeting.
I thank you so much for sharing with me the story of your personal miracle last week in which you missed the ill fated flight on Silk Air (because of being stuck in the traffic) and thereby saved your life. THANK G-D.
As we discussed briefly no one walks away from such an experience unchanged and certainly being presented by G-d with a special gift of life begs at least a revaluation.
While giving charity is certainly appropriate at this time, I think that this is not yet sufficient to put the feelings of gratitude into their proper perspective. My humble suggestion is that you add in some of G-d’s commandments as in the Shabbat (the night the event occurred) first of all to try avoid travelling on the Shabbat at all costs (certainly not by plane) and to light candles (before the Shabbat comes in) and make Kidush. I also suggested the putting on of Tefillin (if not every morning, then) at least once a week and preferably on a day when the kids are home and can see you doing this (i.e. Sunday).
While this may seem somewhat difficult at first, I am sure you will agree that the tremendous tragedy that was averted deserves some kind of focus on the “real things of life” those that don’t get affected by currency devaluation's recessions etc. the doing of good deeds – Mitzvot. (note: 1997 saw the year of the ‘Asian financial crisis’).
I hope you accept this letter in the good spirit it was written as a friend who is genuinely happy for you all and wishes for your physical and spiritual wellbeing. May we merit speedily the coming of Mashiach when disasters will be a thing of the past, Amen.
Sincerely,
Yosef C. Kantor
I would like to take a deeper look at the feelings of anger and frustration at being caught in an irritating traffic jam.
Where did those feelings disappear to?
What made them go away?
No, the G’s did not begin to enjoy sitting in snarled lines of idling cars.
The perspective changed because they saw how missing the flight was a blessing not a curse. The traffic jam was the catalyst for the blessing. They were handed the rest of their lives as a gift to live, enjoy and do meaningful things.
This week’s Parsha spells out the glorious blessings that will come to those who follow in Hashem's path. After that it follows up with verses that describe the opposite. The non-blessings that come from not following in Hashem's path.
The non blessed consequences of not following Hashem’s path are hard to listen to. They are meant to remind us to stay on the proper path of Torah and Mitzvah observance.
Yet even those harsh sounding words also can be reframed to be positive.
For example, the Torah says that ‘Each man will stumble over his brother Israelite’. Literally it means that while fleeing from their enemies, the confusion will be so great that they will stumble on each other.
Our Sages taught that this means something deeper. The concept of ‘arvut’ mutual responsibility for each other. ‘One person will stumble because of another’s sin, for all Israelites are held responsible for one another'.
If we reframe this positively, we will see that not just is their liability in being responsible for each other. Rather there is immense power available to each and every one of us, as we are all intertwined and responsible one for each other.
Not so long back, when the Soviet Union was in its full strength, there were millions of Jews behind the ‘Iron Curtain’.
The Rebbe would urge the Jews of the ‘Free World’ to be mindful of the fact that their mitzvahs would be beneficial to their brethren who were unable to perform mitzvahs due to the persecution and tyranny of the Soviet who were bent on stamping out religion.
When one part of the body is weak and not functioning properly, it is imperative to strengthen the parts of the body that are functioning and can be bolstered.
These days our oneness has never been more obvious.
Every Jew in the world today is held responsible for whatever any other Jew is doing.
Yaron Lischinsky and Sarah Lynn Milgrim were murdered in cold blood last night in Washington DC because the evil murderer saw them as part of one inseparable collective.
The attackers aim was to kill Jews. Jews in Israel and Jews in Washington or wherever else they may be, are all the same to our enemies.
You have probably experienced some form of heightened antisemitism in your own lives. (I will not get into the cruel and false irony and untruths of the media portrayal of the Oct 7th attack and its continuation. We are the victims of unbridled and sheer terror yet somehow, we are being portrayed as the aggressors).
This is the challenging part of our mutual responsibility.
It behooves us all to be mindful and cautious about what is going on around us. If something looks suspiciously dangerous, speak up.
Let us focus on the uplifting, positive and blessed part of our mutual responsibility.
I’m reminded of Yosef, a Jew who was dying in a remote hospital in Cambodia. He managed to get a message to the Chabad Rabbi in Phnom Penh. He went to visit him and arranged for him to be transported to Bangkok for treatment. Thank G-d he was nursed back to good health and started spending time at Chabad House in Bangkok. Every Friday night as the guests shared something at the Shabbat table he would say ‘lihyot Yehudi, zeh Guarantee’. Literally ‘to be a Jew is a guarantee’ (in Hebrew it rhymes..) referring to the fact that he, a previously unknown person was plucked out of near death situation and nursed back to life like a family member. Simply because he was a Yehudi. With no strings attached.
He is absolutely correct in this assessment.
As a Jew, you are not alone. We are part of a people. Each of us is an indispensable part of a treasured and glorious people.
In the aftermath of the Tsunami a team of relief workers came to Phuket from the UK. One of them was Jewish and he attended the newly opened Chabad House Shabbat prayers and Kiddush every week. He told me that his English friends asked him ‘where do you go on Friday nights’. He responded, “I go to family and friends’. They asked him ‘we didn’t know you had family or friends in Phuket’?
He was right. As a Jew, almost wherever you go in the world, you have family.
We have incredible challenges these days.
We have unbelievable opportunities to do good.
Let us focus not on fear, but on pride and strength of being Hashem’s treasured nation. It is our holy mission to spread awareness of Him by acting in a way befitting our responsible role of ambassadors for G-d so to speak.
We are not individuals working as independent freelancers. We are all part of one big collective. Like various limbs of one big body.
Let us do more mitzvahs and strengthen ourselves, our loved ones and by extension the entire Jewish people.
Don’t suffice with thinking about how much you can do for yourself, recognize that your good deeds can impact our entire people of Israel.
Let us recall that we are at the cusp of a world of Shalom as this week's parsha promises that if we follow in the path of Hashem, then even before Mashiach comes:
ונתתי שלום בארץ ושכבתם ואין מחריד
“I will make the land peaceful, and you will sleep without fear’.
Too many nights of sleep are shockingly disrupted with little kids (my grandkids among them) being rudely awakened to go into shelters from senseless shooting of missiles.
When Mashiach comes it will mark the permanent end of evil.
WE WANT MASHIACH NOW.
Let us do one more act of goodness and kindness to hasten his coming.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Yosef Kantor
