By the Grace of G-d
Dear Friend,
Somebody wrote to me after their mother’s passing.
‘I am quite broken and have been since she passed - she was loved by so many - I don't think anyone will miss me when I'm gone....’
How would you respond to this?
***
This week’s parsha contains an intriguing mitzvah called ‘Egla Arufah’ literally the calf that is decapitated.
If you are saying uggh, don’t ran away yet. Keep reading.
This mitzvah is carried out when a corpse is found in a field, outside the city, without any clue as to who killed him.
The Torah says this becomes an issue that involves the highest echelons of the Jewish people.
Five members of the Sanhedrin high court that is positioned in the holy temple in Jerusalem must go to the location, as remote as it may be in the furthest edges of Israel. They need to measure which city is the closest.
Once the closest city is established, the ritual of the ‘Eglah Arufah’ is carried out by the elders of the city.
A calf within a year of birth is killed in an arid piece of land which has never been worked, and never yielded anything. It can never be used for planting in the future either.
The respected elders of that city need to declare that they were not negligent in allowing for this death.
‘Our hands did not shed this blood, and our eyes did not see’.
No one suspected these venerable elders of murder. Rather what they are saying is meant to be understood as:
‘We didn’t encounter this person in our city and allow for him to travel without food or to unaccompanied’.
(This in itself is a very strong statement about the responsibility we bear for people who are in our vicinity. Ignoring someone else’s plight is tantamount to actually harming them. A powerful statement of civic responsibility. A topic for its own article).
The ritual is a sensory experience of the killing a calf who had no children on land that produces nothing. This symbolizes the premature death of this person who can now not have children or generate output of good deeds (which are reminiscent of children allegorically).
The Rambam explains the reason for this mitzvah and its elaborate detail is in order to make a scene. A hullabaloo of sorts.
Do you remember during the pre-GPS days when the traffic news would speak about rubbernecking delays because of a traffic accident on the opposite side of the highway?
Rubbernecking means the tendency that people have when they see something unusual, like police and ambulance activity, to slow down and look to see what happened.
When people see the unusual flurry of activity surrounding this murder, it will lead to chatter about the murder. This may uncover hitherto unknown details and help solve the murder so that the murderer be brough to justice.
Even more importantly, this mitzvah makes a major statement to society that every life is precious.
If someone’s life is cut short, G-d takes it personally.
He instructs in the Torah to set up a task force made up of the highest judiciary of the nation. The most pious and learned elders are dispatched to deal with it.
The impression this makes upon society about the value, sanctity and irreplaceability of every individual is stronger than strong.
And yes. All of this applies even to someone who may not have anyone to miss them.
While we no longer practice this mitzvah in a literal sense, the message it carries with it is more critical than ever.
One of the challenges of our contemporary times is the questioning of the meaning and purpose of life.
And the aloneness that afflicts so many.
Can you imagine? In our super connected generation, people are questioning whether they mean anything to anyone. Would anyone even notice if they were not there.
The pain and deep feeling of loneliness implicit in that question is excruciating and painful.
I cannot get that question out of my mind.
‘Would anyone even miss me if I were gone’?
How does one respond to such a question?
Often people use it as a way of eliciting sympathy from others. As an invitation for the other person to offer words of validation about their contribution to society that will be missed.
And that is true. There is no one who is not contributing to society in some way. Just by being alive.
But to the person who is not saying it to elicit a soothing response but is genuinely asking the existential question ‘would I be missed if I were not here’?
The Torah portion today teaches us the deepest and most truthful answer.
Hashem ‘misses’ a person if they die.
The unique body and soul composite that was sent down here on earth to become aware of G-d and develop and spread that awareness. Through learning G-d’s Torah and fulfilling his instructions. This mission can only be carried out while the soul and body are together, here on earth the epicenter of G-d’s ‘garden’.
True, the soul goes back to G-d ascending to heaven while the body is laid to rest in the earth. But that soul is now missing in the ranks of the active on-duty legions of the ‘servants of G-d’ here on earth.
No one is redundant.
Hashem doesn’t make junk or spare parts. Anyone who is here on this earth is created by G-d for a divine purpose.
Before we do any mitzvah we remind ourselves, that ‘Baruch ata… asher kidshanu bemizvotav vetzivanu..’ G-d has sanctified us and commanded us to do this particular mitzvah.
There is nothing more empowering and uplifting than knowing that Hashem has instructed you to do something for Him.
Let that knowledge sink in. Reflect on it. If you truly ‘get it’, you will feel joy and may even be tempted to sing and dance.
You and I have been chosen by G-d to be instructed by Him. He desires our good deeds. He takes pleasure in our discovering Him.
Yes, if you died, Hashem would ‘miss’ you.
Choose life.
***
Here is a practical takeaway from this mitzvah of ‘Eglah Arufa’.
Not one Jew is superfluous to Hashem.
One may think, what is the big issue if a Jew assimilates and their connection to G-d dwindles and weakens.
The collective is strong thank G-d. There are plenty of practicing Jews.
This mitzvah teaches us don’t think that way.
Hashem cherishes and awaits every single mitzvah and connection from every single Jew.
Every single one of us counts.
At the time of the giving of the Torah if there would have been one Jew missing, the collective Jewish nation would not have received the Torah.
If a fellow Jew’s Judaism ‘dies’ G-d forbid, the most prestigious and pious of the community need to recognize their negligence.
And every single member of the closest city is held responsible.
Why? For if they were they to have done their job of teaching and engaging their friends and acquaintances in the ways of connectivity to G-d, their friend would not have ‘died’ spiritually.
You and I, who are connected and active in our connection to G-d must take ownership for every single Jew that we have access to.
Let us join forces in spreading forth the timely message that Rosh Hashana is approaching. In preparation for Rosh Hashana we have a full month (that started on Wednesday) in which we can approach G-d to establish a relationship before the days of awe, the high holy days.
Rabbi Shneur Zalman the first Rebbe, gave the analogy of the King in the field. Hashem is so to speak affable and approachable during this month.
He smilingly welcomes and interacts with anyone who wishes to connect to him. Without pre-conditions. Just as they are.
Let us utilize this special time. Let us spread the word to others, so that we live and all those we know around us live and progress in our connection to G-d.
May we all be blessed for a Shana Tova
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Yosef Kantor
For further reading: