Imagine this conversation.
Kid says to mum with whining voice.
‘Ma, you hate me, you never buy me anything’!
Mom replies
‘What do you mean dearie, I just got you a brand-new holiday outfit, designer brand’.
Whining child replies.
‘Yes, but that was yesterday’
Then sobs
‘What have you done for me today. You don’t love me’.
Talk about ungratefulness at its best.
It’s the ‘what have you done for me lately’ way of life. When people overlook a lifetime of things they should be grateful for, and instead focus on the day, hour or even minutes that they are not in the receiving mode.
This weeks Parsha spells it out so clearly.
Every year, the Jewish farmer in Israel had the mitzvah to bring his firstly grown fruits of the season to the Bet Hamkidash.
The farmer makes a declaration of gratitude to Hashem for the fact that he has brought us to the land of Israel, and that the land has given forth fruit.
This teaches us the fundamental importance of giving thanks to Hashem. Gratitude for the good things that Hashem has given us.
In the language of the declaration of thanks there are several paragraphs that seem a bit out of place.
At the beginning of the declaration of thanks the farmer thanks G-d for saving our ancestor Yaakov from the evil intention of his uncle Lavan who wanted to kill him before he even had children.
The farmer then continues to recount the path of Jewish history as it goes through the enslavement in Egypt. After several hundred years of the Egyptian exile G-d took us out and brought us to this promised land which is ‘flowing with milk and honey’.
‘I have come here today with my first fruits to thank G-d’ concludes the farmer in his declaration of thanks.
Why isn’t it enough to just say thank you for the fruits of this year, why the whole long historical narrative?
The Rebbe would receive letters from Jews all over the world on a huge variety of topics. A recurring topic was people who would write to complain about their difficult situation and how Hashem doesn’t seem to be ‘shining His countenance’ on them as is indicated by the troubles they face. They would ask the Rebbe to pray for them and bless them.
Sometimes the Rebbe would answer the person whose life seemed so difficult now when they wrote the letter, to think back five or ten years. The Rebbe would suggest to them to try to remember what the things on their minds were years ago.
What things caused you anxiety because they looked so overwhelming. What did your prayer ‘wish list’ look like back then?
My dear friend. Please take a moment and actually try this. Think back to ten years ago. What were the major things you were hoping for?
Then think back five years. What were your biggest challenges?
Maybe even write them down so you see them in front of your eyes.
Now think about your situation today.
Have many of those items been resolved?
In many instances the blessings of G-d have resolved the issues of then.
This is what the Torah seems to be teaching us in the farmers ‘declaration of thanks’.
View life from a broadened perspective of your own life history. Broaden your scope even further and view your life from the perspective of the national history of the Jewish people.
Where were we as a people fifty years ago. One hundred years ago.
Back in Egypt.
We will discover that we have so much to be thankful for.
Jewish life has never been so accessible. Freedom of religion is a assumption we take for granted. Synagogues, yeshivas, Jewish center, kosher food, all of the staples of Jewish life are proliferating and thriving. Israel is a thriving bustling and successful country.
Yes, we do have major challenges as well. This year in particular we have discovered that Israel faces huge challenges. Diaspora Jews have been rudely awakened to the resurfacing menace of anti-Semitism.
On the one hand let us be mindful of all the challenges. We that we take action on all of these items to do whatever we can for the peaceful thriving of our people in Israel and in the world over.
And let us do this from a perspective of thankfulness to Hashem for His kindnesses. Not from whining and whinging about the problems we face.
Nechama and I had a very special ‘long-term-nachas’ opportunity this week.
Ilana from Australia and Yossi from Israel were a couple that came to join us for Yom Kippur 1993 at the Bet Elisheva synagogue. They were backpacking through Thailand and had responded to our Yom Kippur invite that we had placed on the advertisement board in the Kaosarn Rd Israeli hangouts. For Nechama and I, it was our very first High Holidays here in Thailand. Just six months after we took up the position of the rabbi and rebbetzin of Thailand’s Jewish community.
Yossi and Ilana had an inspiring Yom Kippur went on to move to Australia, establish a warm observantly Jewish home and have four children. Our friendship – long distance at it was – blossomed. Ten years ago they joined us at our eldest daughter Mushka’s wedding to Gabi Kaltmann at the Shangri-La hotel on the bank of the Chao Praya River. This week we had the pleasure of joining them at their daughter’s wedding in Melbourne, Australia.
It was so much nachas for us to see this beautiful family celebrating their first wedding. And so fundamentally connected to the theme of this week’s parsha about gratitude.
In addition to the gratitude for the current and constant things that G-d blesses us with. From opening our eyes in the morning, to every single breath that we take.
We must also incorporate long term gratitude for the things that take decades to develop and evolve.
Please take a few moments to read Rabbi Josh Gordon's article An Attitude of Gratitude. He did a superb job in developing this theme.
Your life will be so much more pleasant from the perspective of being appreciative and gratitude filled to G-d who is the source of all.
To those fellow people who are the providers of kindness to us, we ought to be eternally grateful as well.
To our parents who gave birth to us and raised us till were indeptnted.
As well as all the people in our life, past and present who look out for us, care about us, treat us nicely and provide benevolence.
Thank you my dear friend, for your friendship.
Real relationships take time. Even in this technological age.
Our relationship with Hashem must be nurtured and grow every day.
Especially now as we stand 12 days before Rosh Hashana. Chasidic tradition teaches that each of the 12 days of the year should be used to introspect and make amends for the previous twelve months. And to make good plans for the coming twelve months. One day corresponds to one month.
May you and your loved ones be blessed with a good, sweet new year.
May our nation of Am Yisrael be blessed with secure peace.
Mashiach NOW, Amen.
Rabbi Yosef Kantor
Spirited dancing at the wedding in Melbourne