The Rabbi's Advice Saved 2 Lives
by Rabbi Chaim Mentz
In the summer of 2004 Andrew and Sharon finally became engaged and asked me, their rabbi, from Chabad of Bel Air, CA if I will officiate at their wedding ceremony on December 5, 2004? I was so happy for them, I answered OF COURSE, as long as you meet the 4 basic requirements of a Jewish wedding, I would be honored.
1) They are both Jewish.
2) The bride will go to the mikvah prior to the wedding.
3) The food will be kosher at the wedding;
4) Neither are still married to another person. If so they must obtain
a Get (Jewish Divorce).
Both smiled, and were delighted, because nothing can stop them now. The
wedding was set as planned. UNTIL........
During a private conversation Sharon confided in me, that she was once married to a Jewish guy, (who she refers to as "the mistake"), but it was only for six hours, and the courts gave her an annulment immediately .... due to the terrible actions of the "mistake."
I could feel knots forming in my stomach. How do I tell her the last
thing on earth she wants to hear. I began saying, "Please understand that what I am going to tell you, may surprise you, but you still need a Get. Six hours or Six years is still considered being married."
"BUT THE COURTS ANNULLED MY MARRIAGE!" "Rabbi .. please understand, IT WAS A MISTAKE."
Sharon who never ever wanted to revisit her past, let alone have
contact with "the mistake", couldn't believe what I said. I continued saying to her"I want to do your wedding, please understand I can't do it until you get a Get (Jewish Divorce)."
"Rabbi what if I can't find "the mistake"? "Am I doomed forever?"
"Please let's not fall into any false hopes. I will be there for you.
Let's contact the Jewish courts in Los Angeles, and they will help us go through this dilemma."
I explained to both Sharon and Andrew, nothing happens without a
reason. The fact you need a GET today shows that something important happened in Sharon's life, even if it lasted only for six hours.
Sharon would not allow her wedding to be stopped due to her "mistake". She continues to plan her wedding, and honeymoon.
After spending a few weeks with the Jewish Courts in Los Angeles,
Sharon finally was free from "the mistake", until the Jewish courts told her, "Now that you have your GET you can marry, but not before 92 days from today.
WHAT???? Sharon and Andrew immediately called me; "are they crazy? Is this true? Will you not do our wedding on December 5th?"
I, calmly explained to them Jewish law, and tried to reason with them,
why there is a 92 day wait. All they could think about was, their wedding plans, their honeymoon, their BASHERT! For days, they didn't understand why they would have to wait for January 2005 to get married.
After a few days, both Andrew and Sharon called me and said we want to do our wedding right in G‑d's eyes; so they began re-planning their wedding for the end of January.
But still in the back of their mind, they couldn't understand why G‑d
was delaying their wedding. Well, not until December 26th. You see, Andrew and Sharon were supposed to be on their last days of their three week honeymoon in the famous Kaafu Atoll Maldives hotels: on Lankanfushi Island. Their hotel room would have been swept up by the tsunami.
Both Sharon and Andrew celebrated 'their miracle' on January 1st, with a special Kiddush in our shul. As Andrew said ... Best advice the Rabbi ever gave us, was "Follow the rules of G‑d's Torah, it will be a blessing in the end for the both of you!"
On January 23rd, Andrew & Sharon plan on having their wedding. May G‑d bless them with years of happiness and health together.