By the Grace of G-d
Dear Friend,
I met someone a few weeks ago at JCafe over coffee.
He was a Jew in his eighties. I cherish my elderly friends, they are repertoires of the experience of life, if you but take the time to listen to them. Besides for the meaningful topics we discussed, he told me that he will introduce me to a finer coffee than I have drank before. Two days later he delivered on his promise. I tasted the coffee. It tasted good to me. But I cannot honestly say that I appreciated the difference between the ‘superior’ (more expensive) brand and the one I was drinking before.
I am not really the guy to judge coffee. I haven’t developed a discerning taste in coffee. It probably takes a lot of coffee over a number of years to be a connoisseur.
A few days ago, I had another realization about the subtle tastes of life.
I met two ‘serious’ cigar smokers when I was visiting someone in a luxury hotel. Sitting outside in the hotel yard, I told them that cigar smoking always seemed enigmatic to me. Maybe they could finally answer the question I had.
Cigar smoke is so smelly. What did they see pleasurable about it?
The gentlemen I met gave me a short lecture about cigar smoking.
What I gleaned from one of the cigar aficionado’s was eye-opening.
They explained that it’s an ‘acquired taste’.
Everyone starts off getting nauseous after their first cigar smoking experience, they said. But then you get used to it. It becomes tolerable. And at some stage you develop a liking to it. Then you can get an expertise.
I asked him how long it takes to acquire a taste for cigar smoking?
He responded that to develop a serious palate for cigars would take about five years.
I was astonished by this piece of information about how hard you had to work to acquire a taste for something.
And I was inspired. Here is why.
The previous Rebbe of Lubavitch, Rabbi Yosef Yitschak, related the conversation he had with his father, the Rebbe before him, while he was recuperating in a seaside village.
The topic was about the life changing virtuous effects that are achieved through deep daily meditation on the greatness of G-d.
The description there is described in exquisitely uplifting and picturesque terms.
I cannot do justice to its masterful presentation, but in order to make my point I will sum it up in one inadequate paragraph.
Consistent reflection on G-d’s presence leads to a deep refinement of one’s coarseness. With the mindfulness comes the ability for total self-control. Through a program of serious reflection on the presence of G-d, a great spiritual light is brought down through the meditator into the otherwise material world.
All this pales in comparison said the Rebbe, to the greatest gift of all:
It is a magnificent gift of G‑d to merit an innate sense - a "feel" - for doing kindness to another, to derive deep pleasure from it.
This can develop to the point that one cherishes the other more than oneself.
[What would be the rationale for cherishing someone else more than yourself, YK]
He may find many explanations as to why he deserves his own tribulations, G‑d forbid, but to do so with regard to another's suffering - is absolutely impossible.
The Rebbe continued:
It is worthwhile to toil for five days, five hours a day, exerting yourself, both physically as well as mentally in contemplating G-dliness, in order to arrive at this realization and ‘conclusion’, to truly desire to do a favor for a fellow Jews of a material nature, and especially of a spiritual nature.
My dear friends.
I never understood these above lines better than I did after being educated about coffee and cigars.
Namely, that acquiring a ‘taste’ for something doesn’t come overnight.
Even if it is a ‘self-indulgent’ form of ‘pleasure’.
Can you imagine therefore how hard it must be to develop a ‘taste’ for ‘selfless’ behavior in the service of helping others?
It’s not automatic. It takes investment and work. Reflection and reframing.
It takes effort to develop a feeling for helping others. To acquire a taste and truly savor it, takes even more mindfulness. To really reach the mindset where you feel that others are more deserving of you and thus you help others with relish, may take even longer.
Ultimately to really reach the elusive heights of loving others as yourself you have to be gifted from G-d.
You try your best, and G-d fills in the rest. It is well worth the effort and prayers. It is the pinnacle of Jewish observance.
Love your fellow as yourself is the great rule of the Torah.
Seventy-one years ago, upon the passing of his predecessor the Rebbe made this concept, love of others, the cornerstone of his flagship and unwavering message for our generation. His statement conveyed that this mission was super-applicable and necessary for our generation.
At his inaugural Chasidic gathering in January of 1951 the Rebbe quoted a pivotal teaching of his great great grandfather the first Rebbe of Chabad as his ‘mission statement’.
Elevator pitch summation : If you want to love G-d you need to love people.
More complete quote : Love of G‑d, love of the Torah, and Love of the Jewish people are bound up with one another, so much so that they are all one. Only when you love your fellow as yourself are you able to love G‑d, who transcends the world and is the master of all things. For this reason, the Rebbe relinquished his own physical and even spiritual interests out of love for the Jewish people. If you have love of G‑d but not love of the Torah and love of people, you are actually lacking in love of G‑d. On the other hand, if you love people you will ultimately come to love the Torah and love G‑d as well.
The Rebbe spent his entire life in developing and intensifying this crucial mission of love and care, goodness and kindness.
Click here for a portal about the day of ‘Yud Shvat’ (tomorrows Hebrew date) highlighting the leadership and impact of the Rebbe in connection with the anniversary of assuming the position of Rebbe.
In conclusion: we all do ‘irrational’ things.
Choose wisely what you want to be irrational about.
Supra rational commitment to G-d.
Wanton acts of kindness to others.
Now, that is worth spending five years on acquiring a taste for.
If you put forth effort, Hashem will give you the gift of acquiring a taste for it. For Ahavat Yisrael. You too will be blessed as a result.
May Hashem bless us with Mashiach NOW.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Yosef Kantor