By the Grace of G-d
Dear Friend,
The optometrist told me several years ago that I need reading glasses.
I heard it, it registered in my mind, I was told that every pharmacy in the USA sells them but somehow, I never got around to buying a pair. Not sure why I didn’t, but I didn’t.
This week I finally bought a pair of reading glasses.
(It fits with the Parsha of the week which is Reeh 'SEE I (G-d) place before you blessing....')
For all of THB 199 (US$6).
My life changed.
I can now read the small words that had been blurry before. I don’t have to squint to try to decipher the small ‘Rashi’ commentary at the bottom of the Torah. I realized in retrospect that I was straining myself unnecessarily for the past years.
I couldn’t help but laugh at myself.
Why in the world had I waited so long to do something so trivial that made such a huge difference.
And then I thought to myself, who knows what other things could be made much better with just minimum of effort?
Small things can sometimes make a big difference.
In the 1950’s there was a Yeshiva bachur who was very intense ‘searcher for truth’ by the name of Reuven Dunin. One morning he came in a state of crisis to the Rebbe. Reuven explained that the ‘battle’ in his soul was raging and he was looking to the Rebbe for a soothing spiritual remedy as he was totally overwhelmed. The Rebbe asked Reuven if he had eaten breakfast yet. When Reuven responded in the negative, the Rebbe asked him to go eat something and return with an exact report of what he had eaten. Reuven got to the Yeshiva dormitory after everyone had eaten, so he collected the bits and pieces of food that he could find on the plates. Upon reentering the Rebbe’s office he proceeded to tell the Rebbe exactly what he had eaten. Apparently, his description of the ad hoc breakfast sounded quite comical and the Rebbe began to laugh and Reuven began to laugh. The crisis was over.
My dear friends, the Covid is overwhelming us all in its reappearance and with all of its strains, mutations and variants.
A member of our community in Bangkok wrote to me after I checked up to see how they are doing:
I’m ok just so overwhelmed by the situation and the gloominess of everything.
You hear ambulances all the time now I don’t hear traffic where I am but I hear ambulances and if I get it I’m powerless I’m finished.
I can’t go to a hospital I can’t get a vaccine it’s just overwhelming all of it.
I’m very ill prepared for an apocalypse.
Aside for following the medical advice of our respective Health Ministries there is not much we can really do as individuals.
But there ARE things that we can do to mitigate our own anxiety and angst and try to cope better.
Bear in mind. Sometimes it is not the untenable unchangeable situation that is pulling your mood down. Your own reactive mood may be being affected by other things as well.
Proper nutrition is key to staying upbeat. Sufficient rest. Meditative prayer. ‘Unplugging’ for the twenty-six hours of Shabbos. Exercise. All of these small investments of time and attention into your own well being can make the difference between feeling hopelessly overwhelmed or making the best of a very challenging set of circumstances.
And lets not forget the most powerful tool we have. Positive thinking. Looking at things with optimism and joy is the surest way to create a more positive future.
Sometimes its not all that difficult. It just takes a mindfulness. A conscious decision to put on a different set of glasses. The glasses need not even be prescribed by an optician. Maybe for 199 Baht you can change your future reality to be much clearer, tolerable and even enjoyable.
The uniqueness of reading glasses is that it only makes things nearest to you clearer. It doesn’t help for long sighted vision. I would venture to say that it is sometimes important not to look at the big picture which can be totally overwhelming. Rather, to focus on the things nearest to you in the here and now. Those things that are actually in your control. Small things. But they can make your state of mind a totally different one.
There is something even more powerful than putting on ‘joy glasses’. Helping someone else be joyous.
Rabbi Emannuel Schochet was a rabbi and a philosopher. He authored many books and was a prolific lecturer and deep thinker. His son told me this story which he heard from his father who passed away several years ago.
R’ Emmanuel was once attending a ‘Farbrengen’ gathering with the Rebbe and he sensed that the Rebbe was somewhat sad. This put R’ Emmanuel into a sad mood as well.
The Rebbe turned to R’ Emmanuel, out of the many hundreds in attendance, obviously reading his mind and mood and told him ‘nu, Emmanuel, perhaps say ‘Lechayim’ and be ‘besimcha’ (joyous)’. Dutifully R’ Emmanuel raised a small tumbler of wine to wish the Rebbe ‘Lechayim’.
But R’ Emmanuel was still feeling the same way. He was not happier.
The Rebbe didn’t respond with the usual nod of the head and ‘Lechayim’. Instead the Rebbe said to him ‘I don’t want you to say Lechayim as a ‘favor’ for me. Say Lechayim and be besimcha. If I can’t impress upon you to be joyous, how can I affect myself to be joyous’.
But R’ Emmanuel was still not feeling joyous. The Rebbe looked at him but would not answer his ‘Lechayim’.
The Rebbe called out ‘where is (Rabbi) Hodakov. (Rabbi) Hodakov, maybe you can impress upon your nephew to be joyous? ‘.
R’ Emmanuel Schochet was a nephew of Rabbi Hodakov who was the Rebbe’s chief secretary. He was a very very serious and proper character. You could say maybe the least funny person on the planet. The incongruity of the Rebbe asking his somber uncle to provide him with cheer was so absurd that R’ Emmanuel burst out laughing.
The Rebbe immediately responded to R’ Emmanuel’s raised cup with the blessing of ‘Lechayim Velivracha’ TO LIFE AND BLESSING!
What I got from this story is how the Rebbe was teaching by example that the best way to become joyous yourself is to try to make others joyous.
(There is a fascinating account in the Talmud about the greatness of making people happy even by telling jokes and comedy. Click here for more. And click here to read what the Rebbe told the recently passed-away Jackie Mason Z”L when they met. And that is the basis of including humor in our weekly email 😊 ).
My point to you is:
Take a moment to think about some of the small things you can do for yourself and for others to brighten their day and gladden their life.
This week, I got the following note from an elderly man in our community who is quite challenged.
I do hope that you have all recovered from the accident, please G-d. I am relieved that tomorrow is vaccination day! I am scheduled to receive my first shot of AstraZeneca in the early afternoon. The venue of the vaccination centre is in Bangrak/Sathorn, and I am pleased to report that our friend A. Z. offered to take me there in his car - he called right out of the blue last night and, without my asking, offered to take me there. G-d bless him! I feel so much more confident that my carefully laid plans to be vaccinated are falling into place, please G-d.
This note which came as a result of last weeks email requesting mitzvahs, is a highlight of my week. A. Z. has brightened the life of someone else in an immeasurable way. By doing something quite simple but the result is so exquisite.
And it makes the point about how we can be helpful to others if we put our mind to it.
I am not talking about the big stuff.
It’s the 199 baht or 6-dollar items that I am referring to. Investing the time and small gasoline cost of taking someone who needs help to get around to get to an important appointment. Making a phone call to someone who is not expecting to hear from you. Sending a card, an email or even your best thoughts to someone else.
Those things can sometimes make all the difference in the world.
With blessings of Shabbat Shalom, Chodesh Tov and Shana Tova,
Rabbi Yosef Kantor