Dear Esther
‘One person’s junk is another person’s treasure’.
I know that it’s a true saying since I was a little kid.
Growing up in Melbourne, there would be periodically scheduled garbage pickups for large items. On those days there would be couches, fridges, chairs and many other assorted items lining the streets.
Not everything remained outside till the garbage collectors came. Sometimes, other people came and took the things that they thought they could use.
We lived on the top of a small hill. It was a great street for riding our homemade go-kart. One of the main components of the go-karts were the wheels. On one of the large garbage disposal days, we found a big baby carriage that had big wheels perfect for use in our go-kart.
This concept goes much further and deeper in real life.
What happens when someone ‘dumps their junk’ on you. Screams at you, humiliates you, or does even worse things to you.
Instinctively, we react like one reacts when a bucket of garbage is thrown at you. With matching negativity.
On one of my visits to Brooklyn someone screamed at me because I was double-parked blocking his driveway. I was sitting in the car, with the engine running as my wife picked something up from the store. It took me all of twenty seconds to reverse and allow him out of his driveway. He opened the window and screamed at me. I didn’t have a chance or a desire to scream back. But I did find myself in a bad mood. Till I reminded myself that I don’t have to let that person’s bad temper infiltrate or alter my emotionally positive state.
I was proud of emerging from that possible unpleasantness with an even keel. But now that I think about it, I should have done better than that. I should have been even more joyous after that unpleasant encounter.
For everything that comes to a person is from Hashem.
And Hashem is the ultimate good.
Thus, we are instructed to thank Hashem for bad things as well as good things.
(I would like to make a disclaimer. I am not speaking to those who are facing real ‘tzoress’, illness, loss or other big problems.
It would be callous of me to pontificate or whitewash people’s genuine suffering in a general article.
I am addressing the disappointments, inconveniences and minor stresses of everyday life that everybody experiences (like the guy that screamed at me) and it’s up to us how we will receive it).
According to the Torah, that person may have thrown his ‘junk’ on you, but for you it should be turned into a treasure.
And we are instructed to receive it with joy and thank Hashem for it.
We pray that we are not tested by Hashem to see how we deal with problems, but rather be granted pure and straight good that is obviously a treasure and not junk that turns into treasure.
When we wish each other Shana Tova a good year, we add Umetukah, and a Sweet year. We want goodness that is obviously sweet (not bitter that turns to sweet).
The Talmud gives a classic story that illustrates this (as told by Nissan Mindel).
Many years ago, when our Jewish people lived in our Holy Land under the rule of the Romans, there lived among them a great and saintly sage, named Nachum. Rabbi Nachum used to say that everything HaShem does is for the good. Therefore, even if something that happened to him did not appear so good, or even seemed so bad that others would call it a misfortune, he - Nachum - would say "this, too, is for the good." He used to say it so often, that people soon began to call him Nachum Ish Gam Zu, "Nachum the Gam-zu Man."
One day, the Jews were dismayed to learn that the Roman emperor was about to make a law that would make life very difficult for the Jews, for he was no friend of the Jewish people. The Jewish sages and leaders got together to decide what to do. They decided to send a beautiful gift to the king in Rome in order to make him friendlier to the Jews and not give them trouble. But who was to take the gift to the King?
"No one is more suitable than Nachum Ish Gam Zu," all the Sages agreed, for he was a man for whom G-d made many miracles. They knew the journey to Rome was a long and dangerous one, and the king was a cruel man. You really needed a miracle to succeed in such a dangerous mission. So they all asked Nachum to be their shli'ach (messenger). Nachum humbly agreed, saying only, "Gam zu l'tovah."
With the blessings of all the sages, Nachum set out for Rome, carrying with him a beautiful box filled with precious gems and pearls for the king and queen.
Just before reaching Rome, Nachum stopped at an inn overnight. During the night, while Nachum was asleep, two thieves sneaked into his room, looked through his things, and found the box. They opened it and saw it was filled with costly gems and pearls. They emptied it of its precious contents, which they put in their pockets, and filled the box with sand. Then they left quietly.
The following day, Nachum appeared at the royal palace and told the guards that he came all the way from the Land of Israel, carrying a gift for the king from the Jewish people.
The Jewish sage was ushered into the presence of the king. Nachum told his majesty that he brought humble greetings and good wishes from the Jewish people, as well as a gift for the king and queen. The king sent over one of his servants to fetch the box. After admiring the beautiful box for a moment, the king opened it, and his face turned red with anger.
"Look what the Jews sent me for my birthday!" he said to his servants, as he lifted a handful of sand from the box and let it fall back through his fingers. "I'll teach them a lesson they will not forget, for making fun of the king!"
Then he ordered his guard to seize the Jew who had brought him this "gift," and throw him into prison, where he would await his execution that would be arranged publicly, with much pomp and fanfare.
Poor Nachum, what could he do? He was surprised as anyone else when he saw what the box contained. Of course, he realizedthat this was the work of thieves, but the king was in no mood to listen to an explanation. So Nachum Ish Gam-zu lifted his eyes heavenward and said, "Gam-zu l'tovah!"
II
Later that evening, as the king prepared to retire for the night, Elijah the Prophet appeared before him in the guise of one of the king's servants.
"Your Majesty,"' Elijah said, "you surely did not think the Jews would make fun of you and send you ordinary sand? Maybe it is the kind that their Father Abraham used to defeat his enemies in war? It has been told that Abraham threw handfuls of sand against his enemies that turned into swords; and straw that turned into deadly arrows. Would it not be advisable to test this sand the Jews sent you? Maybe it's that secret weapon..."
"There's no harm in doing just that." the king agreed.
It so happened that the king was fighting a long and costly war against the Barbarians, and he was not able to defeat them. So he ordered his generals to try out the sand the Jewish sage had brought him. And wonder of wonders! The Barbarians fled in terror, and the war was over.
Now the king ordered that Nachum be freed and brought before him.
"I had no idea what a wonderful gift you had brought me," the king said to him. "You may ask any royal favor in return."
Nachum told the king what the purpose of his mission was: to plead with the king to withdraw the decree that would hurt the Jews very much, and would be of no benefit to the king.
The king readily granted the request. In addition he ordered his royal treasurer to fill the box with gold and diamonds and rubies from the king's treasure chamber and give it to the Jewish sage to take back with him. Nachum was sent off on his way with much honor, fit for the greatest ambassador.
III
On his way home, Nachum Ish Gam-zu stopped at the same inn where thieves had stolen the contents of the box and filled it with sand.
The innkeeper had heard of the honor and wealth the king had bestowed upon the Jewish sage.
"What did you bring the king in the box that made him so happy?" the innkeeper asked.
"Only what I carried from here," Nachum replied, truthfully.
The innkeeper talked to his son, and the two of them - they were none other than the thieves that stole the contents of the box decided that they would do even better than the Jewish sage. They broke down the best wall of the inn and collected a good deal of broken pieces of rock, which they pounded into a fine sand. This they packed into large boxes which they loaded on donkeys. Tired after all this work, but happy at the thought of how much wealth they will bring back, they made their way to the king's palace.
When they appeared before the king, they told him: "This is the same kind of sand that the Jewish sage had brought to the king that made the king happy. We've brought a lot more to make the king even happier!"
"Indeed?" the king remarked wondering. "Well, we'll soon find out."
He ordered samples of the sand to be tested for the miraculous power it was supposed to have. But no miracles happened this time. So the king ordered that the two thieves be hanged and buried and covered with their own sand.
It is not easy to live constantly with such absolute faith.
But here is the good news. It is not all or nothing. Even if we can’t manage it full time, even pockets of strengthened faith are helpful.
The more we are able to strengthen our belief and faith that all is from the Almighty, the more serene and joyous our life will be.
Some days we do better than others.
Don’t take my word for it. Try it yourself.
The next time you are about to get angry in reaction to something that has been hurled your way that you don’t see as beneficial, take a deep breath and remember it is from Hashem. Hashem is good. Pray to be able to see the blessing in what happened.
Not just will you be less stressed, the Zohar teaches that the more joy and serenity you project down here from your side, the more blessing and joy Hashem mirrors back down from His side.
Admittedly, keeping your spirit up in the face of adversity can be excruciatingly difficult. If it means taking your fingers and pushing your lips upwards on both sides so that you can produce a wan smile, do it.
It will open up a channel of blessing.
May Hashem bless us all with everything good so that we can be happy and calm as we do our best to bring Mashiach NOW and solve the world's problems in one ‘blink of an eye’. AMEN.
Shabbat Shalom,
Shana Tova,
Rabbi Yosef Kantor