It dawned on me as I read the following verse in Tehillim 124. Our soul escaped like a bird from the hunters' snare; the snare broke, and we escaped. It sounds wonderful to escape and be free to soar high like a bird. But I wonder. If the trap indeed breaks, would we soar free like a bird or remain in our constricted zone as limiting as that may be. There is a concept called the elephant mindset. How is it that huge mighty elephants are tethered to their place with a paltry rope? Why doesn’t the elephant give a yank on the rope and break free? Here is how it is explained. At birth the elephant is held down by a rope tied to a peg in the ground. As much as it yanks and pulls, it cannot break free. At that tender age, the elephant is still rather weak. Once the beast grows up to be a strong and mighty creature that could easily break free, it no longer tries to break free. The elephant has learned in infancy that it is helpless against the strong rope. Although as we know, once an elephant is fully grown it would be impossible to hold him down without huge force. It is called ‘learned helplessness’. Is it possible that we too have fallen into the elephant trap? Could it be that the ‘trap is broken’ but we have not escaped? Let me give you an example of what I mean. I recently met a Jewish man in his fifties, who told me very clearly that at the age of 8 he formed his relationship (or lack thereof) with religion. Tragically his father passed away at a very young age, when he was but six years old. His grandmother who was a great influence in sculpting his personality, was a Jewishly observant woman. Yet, upon the tragic death of her son she was wont to say to her grandson ‘if there is a G-d how did he let this tragedy happen to your father’. The young boy repeated this to his Hebrew school teacher one time too many and the teacher got exasperated. He sent him out of class and told him to go ask his grandmother and not burden him with sacrilegious complaints. That rejection by his Hebrew school teacher was the end of the young boy’s relationship with organized Judaism. I found all this out because after having a friendly conversation with him about his field of expertise in antique art, I offered him the opportunity to put on Tefillin. He rejected the offer. I saw there was something troubling him. When he saw that I genuinely wanted to learn more about him, he told me his story. As he grew up and matured he had many differing experiences that led him to recognize the unity within creation and the obvious presence of the One G-d. ‘I now believe in G-d’ he told me, but not in the ‘organization’ and ‘politics’ of religion. Clearly, he saw doing the mitzvah ritual of Tefillin as being part of an organized religion that had caused him emotional hurt as a small child. Drawing on the theme I shared two weeks ago, I explained how the deed of a mitzvah is a stand alone act of expression of connection to G-d. It is the same act that was done since Exodus and is done in the exact same way by Jews the world over. Click her for my article about the mitzvah as the ultimate unifier of Jews. After listening intently to what I explained, he said ‘thank you for sharing this perspective. Based on my new understanding, I withdraw my previous rejection of your offer and would be willing to put on Tefilin’. We then proceeded to lay tefillin for possibly the first time in his life. Let us ponder this. At the tender age of 8, someone irresponsibly and tragically rejected this young boy from his Hebrew class. The young boy thought he was not wanted. He grew up since to be a very sophisticated man and an accomplished expert in his field. Yet, his relationship with Judaism remained ensnared in this early childhood experience. In this case, the adult version of this young child was honest and authentic. I am awed by his courage to revisit what had become a personal ‘policy’. Once he realized that he could free himself of this childhood trauma he chose to escape and fly and connect to G-d through the mitzvah. This is a story that repeats itself too often. Not always with the happy ending of become free. It is indicative of our being caged and restricted in our own minds to things that have happened to us in our formative years. Parents and teachers must pay more attention and realize their power and how impressionable young children are. If you tell a child ‘you are not good in mathematics just like I was not good’ it is almost guaranteed that the child will grow up not good in math. On the other hand, your words have the power to self-fulfill in a positive way. Children whose parents believe in their ability to succeed, indeed succeed more in life. Let us self-examine with the agenda of growth and not fall into the trap of blaming someone else for our own limitations. Yes, your parent, teacher, peer or society may have wronged you. But right now, you are exactly who you are. You are currently the sum total of everything G-d has given you that brought you to this day and to this state of being with these opportunities. Look at yourself in the proverbial mirror and try to become the best version of you that you can be. So that you can contribute what G-d wants you to contribute to His world. Don’t think disparagingly about yourself. Don’t look at yourself G-d forbid as a lost case. Recognize that with G-d’s help the ‘trap’ is broken and you can fly out and be free. Even if you may have made mistakes, (and who hasn’t), Hashem gives us opportunities to pick ourselves up and return to Him. That is the greatest gift that Hashem gives us. Teshuva. The ability to return and reframe the past as we rectify the present and future. Let us not squander the opportunities that are available to us during this special and holy time period. This year as we come closer to Rosh Hashana let us break free of our self-imposed limitations. The trap is broken. The sky is the limit. Take on a new mitzvah observance. Schedule a Torah study regimen and master a book of Torah or Talmud. Open your heart and wallet and help someone else in need. Say nice and uplifting things to those around you. Recognize the great kindness that the Almighty does for you and express your gratitude. Spread your wings like a bird and soar into the beautiful blue sky dotted with serene white fluffy clouds. Feel the nearness of Hashem, His love and adoration and surrender into His embrace. Know and feel that Hashem believes in you and chooses and empowers you to be His emissary here on earth. To bring the awareness of Hashem, morality, goodness and kindness to yourself, your family, your community and thus tilt the balance of the world for the good. Sounds Messianic? It is. If we each do what we are empowered to dol, presto, Mashiach is here! Amen. Shabbat Shalom, Shana Tova Rabbi Yosef Kantor
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