Sukkot is called ‘zman simchateinu’ – ‘the time of our joy’.
We have an instruction from G-d – a mitzvah in the Torah to rejoice and be happy.
Fantastic!
What an amazing mitzvah.
I would expect this to be one of the most popular and widespread mitzvahs!
Who doesn’t love being joyous?
It was startling for me to see that listed in the book ‘the five top regrets of the dying’ is ‘I wish that I had let myself be happier’.
What does that mean ‘I wish I had let myself be happier’?
What is stopping someone from being happy?
It seems not everyone really allows themselves the ‘luxury’ of being joyous.
And truth be told, it is understandable.
You see, when we look at the things happening around us, they are not all happy. Since October 7th things have been very tragic.
Manchester’s horrific murders on Yom Kippur are chilling.
And I won’t go further because the list is too painful and long.
That is on a national Jewish level.
On a personal level as well. How many people can say that everything is complete in their lives? There are many heartbreaking issues that people face. Even the ones who seem to have everything going well, if you open your ears you will hear about their problems, challenges and nuisances.
From a taxi driver in Israel I learned how one can give someone else the great gift of being heard and validated. The driver shared that he asks his passenger at the beginning of the drive ‘where are you from?” When they respond he comments, “I have heard things are not so easy for you in that location’. This opens people up and the conversation flows freely from there. People are so happy to share what is on their heart that they invariably walk out feeling lighter and uplifted.
It is safe to say that everyone has something that is not easy. Even if they are blessed to not have majorly serious problems, everyone is dealing with something they would like to see changed.
The Talmud opens our eyes to a facet of human nature. ‘He who has one hundred, desires two hundred. One who has two hundred wants four hundred’. The Midrash sums it up saying that ‘a person doesn’t even have half his desires filled when he dies’. Humans are naturally conditioned to always want more.
(The Rebbe would use this saying to encourage people not to be satisfied with their spiritual achievements but to keep achieving and growing in their spiritual achievements).
If we equate happiness with having all of our desires fulfilled, one may never allow themselves to be joyous?
It is only when one chooses to reframe the way they look at life that joy can be achieved.
Let us look at the way the Torah explains the joy of Sukkot from the perspective of the agricultural cycle.
Sukkot is the Festival of Ingathering; it is the time when the produce of the field, orchard and vineyard is gathered in. The granaries, threshing floors and wine and olive-presses are full to capacity. Weeks and months of toil and sweat put into the soil have finally been amply rewarded. The farmer feels happy and elated. No wonder Sukkot is "the Season of Rejoicing." Click here for the full article
In today’s non-agricultural society let me put it this way.
Thailand is a gem and jewelry hub, and it is the first place I really observed the ins and outs of commerce. I will use the gem trade as my analogy.
When we first got to Thailand in the process of getting to know our local community I visited the Jewish gem dealers. I would watch as stones would be selected, prices haggled about and then finally a handshake and the word ‘mazal’ and the deal was done.
I remember asking a gem merchant who had come here all the way from the USA to buy stones, ‘was your trip to Bangkok successful’?
He responded. ‘I hope that please G-d I bought for the right price. Then I pray that I can find a client to buy it at the price I ask for. Then I pray that the buyer's post-dated check for the stone will clear the bank once the 30-day credit period is up. Only once the money is in the bank will I know that my trip was successful’.
(Can you provide a parallel in today’s world of digital technology. Please share your ideas with me so I can use an analogy that will resonate more with the youth of today).
Now let us think about this. In the agricultural world, when a farmer sees that he has been successful and the grains, wines and oils are safely stored. Or in the business world, when a gem dealer has made a profitable trip. Does that mean that their life is problem free?
Isn’t it possible that even the biblical farmer had other issues that still needed rectification?
In today’s world, we know firsthand that just because one issue is resolved, this does not mean that there are not multiple issues that are not yet solved. A person can do a great business deal and still have aggravation from some other part of their life.
Oh, and ask the farmer, ‘granted, you have had a successful year this year but what will happen if next year the weather conditions are not favorable G-d forbid’? Ask the gem dealer, ‘you had an amazing business trip this season but are you sure that next season will yield similar blessings?
Do you see what I mean?
There is always something that you could be worried about.
Even if things are good now, maybe things will not turn out well in the future. This is a good reason to be worried. And many people indeed are worried about tomorrow.
From a certain perspective it would seem irresponsible to be happy.
How can you be happy when not everything is fine and dandy?
At every Jewish wedding we break a glass. To remind us that not everything is ok. The Bet Hamikdash is destroyed.
In our times we also remember the acute excruciating suffering of our brethren who are hostages. The soldiers who lost their lives. The wounded. The general tragedy of living in a time of war, terror and antisemitic Jew hatred.
There are plenty of valid reasons not to be happy.
Sometimes it even feels that if you are a mature person, you must be thinking about the issues that need fixing all the time. How can you not be reading and hearing the news and getting updated every few minutes.
It is almost like some thing ‘oy vey’ ‘kvetching’ is a Jewish mandate.
Actually, the reverse is true.
Hashem loves us and gives us a gift.
Joy.
A mitzvah to be overly joyous during the week of Sukkot.
A mitzvah to mirror that joy whenever we serve Him.
A mitzvah to always be serving Him.
In short, the Jewish way is one of joy.
Mitzvah is ‘commandment’.
Mitzvah also means ‘connector’ for when Hashem asks us to do something for Him, this is the greatest connection there can be. Between us, the finite created beings and Him, the infinite Creator.
In the context of this discussion, let us remember that this mitzvah of Simcha-Joy is also ‘permission’ to rejoice.
Even though there are still serious problems in the world.
It is ok to rejoice. You are not being a reckless unfeeling person. Neither are you being an ostrich.
Hashem the Master of the universe has instructed us to rejoice.
This means that it is mandated, allowed, encouraged and recommended.
How can one rejoice when not everything is ok? From where will I get the power to fast?
Here is a great secret that will change your life.
When Hashem gives us a mitzvah, he also gives us the power and ability to fulfill it.
Can you imagine even a physical employer sending his employee to do a job without providing the wherewithal to do it? How much more so Hashem. Implicit in giving us the commandment to do a mitzvah is the ability to carry it out. It is our choice if we utilize that capability or not, but He provides it.
(If someone is truly not able for reasons totally beyond their control to perform a particular mitzvah, then they are not held responsible for the non-fulfillment).
One of the ways that we can experience joy is by reframing the events in our lives and focusing on the good.
I am reminded of the stereotypical joke. Some cantankerous customers finished their meal at the restaurant. They had sent back portions of food with various complaints; they had gripes about the temperature in the room. The exasperated waiter asked them at the end ‘was anything ok’ instead of the usual ‘was everything ok’.
Here is an example of reframing an experience. When one’s child comes to them in the morning and says ‘good morning daddy, can you (please) give me five dollars for snacks’ What do you hear?
‘Oy vey, this kid is always asking for money’? Or ‘wow, I am so blessed to have a kid who greets me and calls me daddy, it is an answer to my prayers and music to my ears’. ‘What greater gift in life than to have someone that I love and who loves me and that I can make happy by giving them five dollars’.
Our emotions are so dependent on our framing of events.
For example, you got a raise of $1,000 a month in your salary. You call your spouse to share the good news. As you are speaking you overhear your friend calling his spouse to share the great news that he got a $2,000 raise. For many people the joy suddenly dissipates. Suddenly it turns into bitterness and resentment towards your boss. Does your boss deserve thanks or anger?
Or the following parable. A guy gets stuck on the roof of a tall building. He wants to attract attention, so he starts dropping bills of money onto the pedestrians below. People run to gather up the money. Nobody tries to find the source. Exasperated, he spots a few leftover stones from a renovation. He starts to drop those over the roof. Within a few minutes the security staff is on the roof to stop him.
The message in this story is so acute.
There are all kinds of things that are falling on us from Above.
Let us give thanks and appreciation to Hashem for the good things.
Let us REJOICE about the things that are great in our lives.
Firstly, that G-d is our loving Father. That we are blessed to be alive. That we are blessed to be His chosen Jewish people.
Hashem gives us this seven-day holiday to be joyous.
Let us ‘allow ourselves’ to fulfil this mitzvah in the full way.
Make a resolution to do the mitzvah of Hashem this sukkot and be happy.
It’s a biblical commandment Vesamachat Bechagecha click here for more about sukkot and joy.
Focus on the good things. Eat and drink in the Sukka in a festive way. Sing a joyous song. Dance a little.
You will see. The moment you ‘allow yourself to be joyous’ the mitzvah of Hashem will provide you with all of the power and energy needed to activate that joy.
You are invited to join us in the Sukkah for a meal with joy and happiness.
Chag Sameach
Rabbi Yosef & Nechama Kantor