By the Grace of G-d
Dear Friend,
Imagine if you didn’t have to shlep and actually travel to a tourist attraction but could get the memory of your desired trip implanted into your brain.
After all, what really remains of the touring trips we take? Isn’t it just the memories we have created through our travels?
Wouldn’t it be cool to just go to a ‘touring download clinic’ and choose what memories you want to have. Presto, a few minutes later you walk out enriched with memories of having visited your place of choice. No need to buy ticket, to sit in a seat on cramped seat in an airplane.
In a sad twist, a psychologist told me about a real scenario regarding someone who had lost their ability to remember anything. His wife wanted to go on holiday, whereas the husband insisted it wasn’t worth his effort. He knew that unfortunately he would have no memories of his trip. He argued that while he would enjoy the holiday during the time he was actually experiencing it, the fact that he would not remember anything made it unattractive to him. The psychologist urged him to make the trip for the value it had for his wife. Even if it would not produce memories for him, he should see the value in the actual act of benevolently accompanying his wife.
The downside of being too caught up in ‘creating memories’ is the fact that it takes away our being present in the actual experience we are engaged in. In today’s world of gadgets and communications, we almost never allow a meaningful experience to be bereft of the ubiquitous ‘selfie’, tweet or Instagram. Sometimes we are not truly ‘present’ in the moment because we are too busy doing things to preserve the moment for the future.
(Thank G-d for Shabbat when we actually unplug from the external stimuli and focus inward. We spend time getting in touch with our own souls, we place emphasis on our relationship with G-d and spend quality time with our families and friends).
So how important are memories?
Well, it really depends on how you use them.
Do you use them to lean back, feel good and doze off?
Or do the memories form a base from which you get energized and inspired to continue in your life mission.
Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakai was a great sage and a saintly man. It is puzzling that he proclaimed to his students before he passed away ‘I don’t know in which direction they will take me after I pass away’. How could he have any doubts about the fact that he would be headed straight for the Garden of Eden after his passing.
What Rabbi Yochanan was sharing with his students was the fact that he was so busy in his work in serving Hashem that he hadn’t had a chance to think about where he was in terms of his righteousness.
When you are busy enjoying a wedding of a loved one or selling merchandise at a trade show, there is no time to calculate or reminisce. While one is in the midst of doing something and progressing in their goals it is not the appropriate time to pause for nostalgic remembrances.
‘TODAY is a time for doing – tomorrow will be the time for enjoying the reward’.
This is how the sages instruct us to lead our lives.
Our world is filled with opportunity to partner with G-d. Every time we overcome our natural instincts and choose to do what is right over what is convenient or expedient, we have made the world a bit more holy. Every good deed, every charitable and magnanimous act tilts the worlds balance to purity and saneness. There is so much to do. So little time to do it in. Taking time to dwell on memories can be a threat to doing new things.
At the same time, the Torah tells us that we must take the time and make the effort to remember.
Remember that G-d took us out of Egypt. Remember that G-d created the world in six days and rested on the seventh. That’s why we keep the day of Shabbat holy. Remember dark moments of our past history so as not to repeat past mistakes. Remember our inspirational moments. The G-dly revelation at Sinai.
These remembrances are what give us the impetus to leap forward in an energetic recommitment to following in Hashem’s path.
Feelings of gratitude are also enhanced by memories. Remembering humble beginnings makes one’s gratitude for the subsequent blessings much stronger.
Yaakov states in this week’s portion how he feels humbled by G-d’s kindnesses to him. ‘I crossed the Jordan river with just my walking stick’ said Yaakov, ‘now I have grown into two camps (one consisting of a large family and the other consisting of the great wealth I have amassed.)’.
In conclusion: remembering the past is clearly a very important component in living an inspired life the way G-d wants us to live it.
It is not a call to rest, it is an inspiration to do more.
It was with this thought in mind - that we got together with friends and community members last night to celebrate moving into our new home in the La Maison building (opposite the Beth Elisheva Synagogue).
We reminisced that exactly twenty-six years earlier I had first landed in Thailand on my exploratory visit that led to our arrival here several months later. This memory filled us with gratitude to Hashem for blessing us so magnanimously. More importantly it was a call to action. For together with the accumulation of years and blessings comes the opportunity to do more. To build more Jewish life. To broaden and deepen the opportunities for Jewish observance in this country.
The celebration coincided Providentially with the ninetieth wedding anniversary of the Lubavitcher Rebbe and his wife the Rebbetzen. The remembrance and celebration of this milestone is a source of great inspiration as it was this union that effectively bonded the Rebbe with us the student and chasidim. This marriage led to his subsequent acceptance of the leadership of the Chabad/Lubavitch movement after the passing of his father in law the sixth Rebbe. The remembrance of this day fuels the drive to try to live up to his ambitious expectations of his students and emissaries.
Memories: Remember that truly valuable memories are those that are real! In other words, do the right thing because it’s the right thing. Not because you think it will look good in the pictures. The memories will be created automatically as a result of your experiences.
Once you have memories, by all means use them wisely.
Use them to recognize how blessed you are.
Even more importantly, get inspired and energized by them.
Shabbat Shalom
PS It was a few minutes short of midnight last night when I received the call that Mr. Salim (Shlomo) Eubanni had passed away. As I went to the hospital to oversee the arrangements I recalled the first Torah discussion I had with Salim twenty-six years ago. He stood at the helm of the Even Chen Synagogue with dedication and determination. Salim was a talmid chacham who was meticulous in his personal observance of Torah and Mitzvot and steadfast in upholding the standards of Torah-true Judaism he so fervently believed in. Salim will be sorely missed by our community and by the beautiful family that he and his wife Sally are blessed with.
Burial will take place in Israel next week. A funeral service will likely be held here in Bangkok before the departure to Israel. As arrangements are still being finalized please send me an email if you wish to be updated.